A few years back, a friend of mine lay dying in a sterile hospital room. He didn’t want to die at home because he feared traumatizing his three beautiful children he was leaving behind.

“Craig” was not a particularly religious man. He wasn’t antagonistic toward religion or spirituality, he’d just spent his life focused on providing for his family’s material needs. He found plenty to occupy his time and energy in the material world, and had never felt much need or desire to ponder the spiritual.

His final days were not easy. He had abdominal cancer and as the disease reached its final stages, Craig was in a lot of pain.

When I entered his hospital room, I expected to find Craig sleeping. I knew he was receiving heavy doses of narcotics in an attempt to keep him comfortable.

I was more than a little surprised, then, when I found Craig sitting up in bed and looking more comfortable than he had been in months. He broke into a broad smile as he saw me, and triumphantly declared, “Darrell, I know what it’s all about!”

I smiled in return and asked, “What do you mean, ‘You know what it’s all about?'”

“Life,” Craig replied, as if the subject of his newfound knowledge should have been obvious. “I know what life is all about!” he proclaimed.

“OK,” I said as I gave him a hug and sat at the foot of his bed. “So give it up; I could make use of that information.”

Craig smiled. He looked more at peace than I could ever remember. He had always seemed stressed and more than a bit preoccupied before he got sick.

“It’s so simple” Craig said quietly. “When you get to where I am it seems so obvious.”

We both sat there quietly for a moment. Craig’s eyes glistened as he held my gaze.

“All you take with you is the love you’ve shared and the love you’ve allowed yourself to receive. Everything else you leave behind.”

Craig missed many of the milestones in his children’s lives because he was so focused on providing for them. He had overlooked opportunities to express his affection for his loving wife in favor or working overtime to assure she could focus on the kids. Immediately after his diagnosis, he was filled with regret.

Before long, though, he had set aside any self-pity and devoted himself to spending every moment he could with his family and friends. He wrote each of his family member a beautiful letter they received after he died. He passionately  leaned into his remaining days without concern for their limited number.

Though he was not a religious man, he had as powerful a conversion experience as any person has ever known. He awoke to the great truth that underlies every religion and every wisdom tradition. He experienced first-hand the insight every poet and mystic has proclaimed.

As you move through the coming days, where do you want to focus? Ten years from now, you and your loved ones probably won’t remember anything you accomplished over the coming year, but you and they will treasure the moments you set everything else aside and focused on each other.

Love those in your circle and let them love you in return. After all, that is all that will endure. In the end, everything else will be lost to time.

If you want to tell your loved one’s story, preserve their legacy, and/or celebrate their life we can help; just visit us at LifeWellLived.com; it was created to help people like you tell the stories that matter most!