You walk into a restaurant or a bakery, a scent overpowers you as you step through the door, and suddenly you’re six years old again standing in your mother’s kitchen. We’ve all experienced this; it’s the almost magical power of remembrance.

Take a close look at the word “remember.” When you break it down you can see–to re-member is to make present once again. Our minds have the extraordinary ability to recall so much more than an image of the past, or even a video of that past complete with sound. Our minds can literally recreate experiences long past.

A scent or a taste is powerful enough to trigger this ability, and the memories associated with our loving relationships are a hundred times more powerful than any sensory recollection. This means we have the ability to make our absent loved ones present–to us, to other family members and friends, and even to people who never met him or her. How do we do this?

We remember out loud; in other words, we tell stories. We tell the same stories over and over and over. We tell our stories a little differently every time, depending on how we’re feeling. And all we need to make the miracle happen is someone who will listen to our story–again, and again, and again.

You’ve seen the power of remembrance any time your family or circle of friends gathers. Someone will start telling a story–maybe about someone else in the room or someone who used to be part of your circle–and before long everyone will be smiling and nodding. Finally, someone will say something like, “I can see him–head bowed, shoulders shaking, laughing under his breath, just like you described.” The miracle of remembrance!

Sometimes when we’re missing someone who filled our lives with joy we fall into thinking that telling our stories will only deepen our pain, but that’s never true. Recalling the joys of the past can and often does evoke the pain of loss, but we’re going to experience that pain whether or not we tell our stories. If we can lean into the unavoidable pain just a bit and make room for remembrance, the joy we make present once again will be greater than the pain every time.

Humans tell stories. Through our stories, we share wisdom, humor, values, and so much more. The stories that matter most revolve around the people we love most. Those are the stories we want to get right. Those are the stories LifeWellLived was created to help you tell. Let us help you tell your stories that matter most!